In short: the Buddha's real words on anger are practical: "When anger surges like a lurching chariot, keep it in check" (Dhammapada 222), and "Defeat anger with kindness" (Dhammapada 223). The popular "hot coal" and "punished by your anger" lines are not his. Here are seven genuine quotes, each with its source.
1. Dhammapada 222
"When anger surges like a lurching chariot, keep it in check. That's what I call a charioteer; others just hold the reins."
Holding the reins isn't enough: steer.
2. Dhammapada 223
"Defeat anger with kindness, villainy with virtue, stinginess with giving, and lies with truth."
3. Dhammapada 5
"For never is hatred laid to rest by hate, it's laid to rest by love: this is an ancient teaching."
Read the full guide
4. Dhammapada 3
"‘They abused me, they hit me! They beat me, they robbed me!’ For those who bear such a grudge, hatred is never laid to rest."
Replaying the hurt keeps it alive.
5. Dhammapada 221
"Give up anger, get rid of conceit, and escape every fetter."
6. Dhammapada 232
"Guard against ill-tempered words, be restrained in speech. Giving up bad verbal conduct, conduct yourself well in speech."
7. SN 7.2
"In the same way, brahmin, when you abuse, harass, and attack us who do not abuse, harass, and attack, we don't accept it. It still belongs to you, brahmin, it still belongs to you!"
The Buddha's answer to a man who insulted him: an insult you don't accept stays with the giver.
Looking for "holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal"? It isn't in the early texts: see which popular quotes are real.
All quotes are from the early Buddhist texts in Bhikkhu Sujato's translation on SuttaCentral, copied exactly. Last checked: 17 October 2026.
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Questions people ask
What did the Buddha say about anger?
'When anger surges like a lurching chariot, keep it in check. That's what I call a charioteer; others just hold the reins' (Dhammapada 222). And 'Defeat anger with kindness' (Dhammapada 223).