In short: in Snp 2.3 the Buddha says a true friend is not one who relentlessly suspects you, but one "on whom you rest, like a child on the breast", who cannot be turned against you by others, and who acts, not just talks.
No true friend relentlessly suspects betrayal, looking for fault. One on whom you rest, like a child on the breast, is a true friend, not split from you by others.
Snp 2.3, translated by Bhikkhu Sujato.
What it means
The poem contrasts friends who "say nice things… without following it up" with true friends who act, trust and stay. See also teachings on loneliness and the Buddha's words that good friends are "the whole of the spiritual life".
Read the full guide
The full text in Pāli and English
Translation by Bhikkhu Sujato, from SuttaCentral (SNP2.3). Ellipses (…) are abbreviations in the original. Notes are ANEW's.
| Pāli | English |
|---|---|
| Hiriṁ tarantaṁ vijigucchamānaṁ, | Flouting conscience, loathing it, |
| Tavāhamasmi iti bhāsamānaṁ; | saying “I’m on your side”, |
| Sayhāni kammāni anādiyantaṁ, | but not following up in deeds— |
| Neso mamanti iti naṁ vijaññā. | know they’re not on your side. |
| Ananvayaṁ piyaṁ vācaṁ, | Some say nice things to their friends |
| yo mittesu pakubbati; | without following it up. |
| Akarontaṁ bhāsamānaṁ, | The wise will recognize |
| parijānanti paṇḍitā. | one who talks without doing. |
| Na so mitto yo sadā appamatto, | No true friend relentlessly |
| Bhedāsaṅkī randhamevānupassī; | suspects betrayal, looking for fault. |
| Yasmiñca seti urasīva putto, | One on whom you rest, like a child on the breast, |
| Sa ve mitto yo parehi abhejjo. | is a true friend, not split from you by others. |
| Pāmujjakaraṇaṁ ṭhānaṁ, | One whose reward is the fruit |
| pasaṁsāvahanaṁ sukhaṁ; | of bearing the burden of service |
| Phalānisaṁso bhāveti, | develops a happy state, |
| vahanto porisaṁ dhuraṁ. | producing joy and attracting praise. |
| Pavivekarasaṁ pitvā, | One who has drunk the nectar of seclusion |
| Rasaṁ upasamassa ca; | and the nectar of peace, |
| Niddaro hoti nippāpo, | free of stress, free of evil, |
| Dhammapītirasaṁ pivanti. | drinks the joyous nectar of Dhamma. |
| Hirisuttaṁ tatiyaṁ. |
Try it
Begin with a 3-minute practice, or make your teaching card for today.
Questions people ask
What did the Buddha say makes a true friend?
In Snp 2.3: a true friend does not constantly suspect betrayal or look for faults; you can rest on them 'like a child on the breast', and others cannot split you apart.