In short: in Ud 5.1 King Pasenadi and Queen Mallikā agree that no one is dearer to them than themselves. The Buddha replies that the same is true for everyone, so someone who loves themselves should not harm others.
King Pasenadi asked Queen Mallikā: "Is there anyone more dear to you than yourself?" She said no, and so did he. When the king told the Buddha, he replied in verse:
Having explored every quarter with the mind, one finds no one dearer than oneself. Likewise for others, each holds themselves dear; so one who desires self-knowledge would harm no other.
What it means
Instead of calling self-love selfish, the Buddha uses it as the bridge to compassion: since you hold yourself dear, and so does everyone else, harm no one. See the Buddhist golden rule and metta meditation, which begins with yourself.
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The full text in Pāli and English
Translation by Bhikkhu Sujato, from SuttaCentral (UD5.1). Ellipses (…) are abbreviations in the original. Notes are ANEW's.
| Pāli | English |
|---|---|
| Evaṁ me sutaṁ— | So I have heard. |
| ekaṁ samayaṁ bhagavā sāvatthiyaṁ viharati jetavane anāthapiṇḍikassa ārāme. | At one time the Buddha was staying near Sāvatthī in Jeta’s Grove, Anāthapiṇḍika’s monastery. |
| Tena kho pana samayena rājā pasenadi kosalo mallikāya deviyā saddhiṁ uparipāsādavaragato hoti. | Now at that time King Pasenadi of Kosala was upstairs in the royal longhouse together with Queen Mallikā. |
| Atha kho rājā pasenadi kosalo mallikaṁ deviṁ etadavoca: | Then King Pasenadi addressed Queen Mallikā, |
| “atthi nu kho te, mallike, kocañño attanā piyataro”ti? | “Mallikā, is there anyone more dear to you than yourself?” |
| “Natthi kho me, mahārāja, kocañño attanā piyataro. | “No, Great King, there isn’t. |
| Tuyhaṁ pana, mahārāja, atthañño koci attanā piyataro”ti? | But is there anyone more dear to you than yourself?” |
| “Mayhampi kho, mallike, natthañño koci attanā piyataro”ti. | “For me also, Mallikā, there’s no one.” |
| Atha kho rājā pasenadi kosalo pāsādā orohitvā yena bhagavā tenupasaṅkami; upasaṅkamitvā bhagavantaṁ abhivādetvā ekamantaṁ nisīdi. Ekamantaṁ nisinno kho rājā pasenadi kosalo bhagavantaṁ etadavoca: | Then King Pasenadi of Kosala came downstairs from the stilt longhouse, went to the Buddha, bowed, sat down to one side, and told him what had happened. |
| “Idhāhaṁ, bhante, mallikāya deviyā saddhiṁ uparipāsādavaragato mallikaṁ deviṁ etadavocaṁ: | |
| ‘atthi nu kho te, mallike, kocañño attanā piyataro’ti? | |
| Evaṁ vutte, mallikā devī maṁ etadavoca: | |
| ‘natthi kho me, mahārāja, kocañño attanā piyataro. | |
| Tuyhaṁ pana, mahārāja, atthañño koci attanā piyataro’ti? | |
| Evaṁ vutte, ahaṁ, bhante, mallikaṁ deviṁ etadavocaṁ: | |
| ‘mayhampi kho, mallike, natthañño koci attanā piyataro’”ti. | |
| Atha kho bhagavā etamatthaṁ viditvā tāyaṁ velāyaṁ imaṁ udānaṁ udānesi: | Then, understanding this matter, on that occasion the Buddha expressed this heartfelt sentiment: |
| “Sabbā disā anuparigamma cetasā, | “Having explored every quarter with the mind, |
| Nevajjhagā piyataramattanā kvaci; | one finds no one dearer than oneself. |
| Evaṁ piyo puthu attā paresaṁ, | Likewise for others, each holds themselves dear; |
| Tasmā na hiṁse paramattakāmo”ti. | so one who desires self-knowledge would harm no other.” |
| Paṭhamaṁ. |
More: real Buddha quotes on self-love.
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Questions people ask
What did the Buddha say about self-love?
In Ud 5.1 he agreed no one is dearer to us than ourselves, and concluded that since everyone holds themselves dear, one who loves oneself should harm no other.