Learn/Loving-kindness

Buddhist Teachings on Loneliness: Friendship and a Boundless Heart

1 min read · Updated

In short: The Buddha placed friendship at the very center of the path, and taught a love that reaches every being. For lonely days, his words point two ways: toward good people, and toward a heart that has no edges.

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The Buddha's words

Good friends, companions, and associates are the whole of the spiritual life.

Sakalamevidaṁ, ānanda, brahmacariyaṁ, yadidaṁ kalyāṇamittatā kalyāṇasahāyatā kalyāṇasampavaṅkatā.
SN 45.2 (SuttaCentral), translated by Bhikkhu Sujato.

Even as a mother would protect with her life her child, her only child, so too for all creatures unfold a boundless heart.

Mātā yathā niyaṁ puttam āyusā ekaputtamanurakkhe; Evampi sabbabhūtesu, mānasaṁ bhāvaye aparimāṇaṁ.
Snp 1.8, Metta Sutta (SuttaCentral), translated by Bhikkhu Sujato.

With love for the whole world, unfold a boundless heart: above, below, all round, unconstricted, without enmity or foe.

Mettañca sabbalokasmi, mānasaṁ bhāvaye aparimāṇaṁ; Uddhaṁ adho ca tiriyañca, asambādhaṁ averamasapattaṁ.
Snp 1.8, Metta Sutta (SuttaCentral), translated by Bhikkhu Sujato.

A practice for a lonely day

  1. Send one message to someone who is good for you.
  2. Sit for a minute and wish yourself well, then one person, then everyone nearby.
  3. Notice that the wish connects you, even alone.

Go deeper: metta meditation, the four Brahmavihāras and the Buddha on true friends.

An ancient poem on walking alone: the Rhinoceros Sutta.

Living together well: like milk and water.

What a true friend is: Snp 2.3.

Try it

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Put it into practice

All 5 practices · free, in your browser.

Questions people ask

What did the Buddha say about friendship?

When Ānanda suggested good friends are half the spiritual life, the Buddha replied: 'Good friends, companions, and associates are the whole of the spiritual life' (SN 45.2).

How can Buddhist practice help with loneliness?

By cultivating loving-kindness (mettā), which connects us to others in the heart, and by valuing and seeking good friends.

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