In short: the early Buddhist texts never use the word "ego". Instead the Buddha taught seeing body and mind like this: "So you should truly see any kind of form at all—past, future, or present; internal or external; solid or subtle; inferior or superior; far or near: all form—with right understanding: 'This is not mine, I am not this, this is not my self.'" (SN 22.59). Seeing that clearly uproots what he called "the conceit 'I am'" (SN 22.102). It isn't destroying your personality; it's seeing through the clinging that causes suffering.
Not mine, not me, not my self
"So you should truly see any kind of form at all—past, future, or present; internal or external; solid or subtle; inferior or superior; far or near: all form—with right understanding: 'This is not mine, I am not this, this is not my self.'"
SN 22.59 · The Buddha's second discourse: Anattalakkhaṇa Sutta · The five aggregates: form, feeling, perception, choices, consciousness.
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The conceit "I am"
"Mendicants, when the perception of impermanence is developed and cultivated it eliminates all desire for sensual pleasures, for rebirth in the realm of luminous form, and for rebirth in a future life. It eliminates all ignorance and eradicates all conceit 'I am'."
SN 22.102 · More: perception of impermanence.
Ego in everyday life: the proud fool
"‘Let both layfolk and renunciants think the work was done by me alone. In anything at all that's to be done, let them fall under my sway alone.’ So thinks the fool, their greed and pride only growing."
Dhammapada 74
That's ego as most people mean it: wanting the credit, wanting control. The Buddha's remedy isn't self-hatred; it's seeing that "me and mine" are changing processes, not a fixed thing to defend.
A 3-minute practice
- Notice a feeling right now. Silently: "This feeling is not mine, I am not this."
- Notice a thought. "This thought is not mine, I am not this."
- Notice how it feels to hold everything a little more lightly.
A quote using "ego" and attributed to the Buddha is almost certainly modern. Check it: Did the Buddha really say that?
Try it
For a steadier sense of self-worth that doesn't need defending: real Buddha quotes on self-love. Or start with three quiet minutes.
Questions people ask
Does Buddhism teach getting rid of the ego?
The early texts don't use the word 'ego'. They teach seeing body and mind as 'not mine, I am not this, this is not my self' (SN 22.59), which uproots 'the conceit I am' (SN 22.102). This isn't destroying a personality; it's seeing through the clinging that makes us suffer.
Is a quote with the word 'ego' a real Buddha quote?
Probably not. No standard translation of the early texts uses 'ego' for a Pāli term, so it is a common sign of a modern, misattributed quote.