In short: the Buddha taught that criticism and praise are unavoidable and shouldn't run your life. "No one in the world escapes blame" (Dhammapada 227), and "As the wind cannot stir a solid mass of rock, so too blame and praise do not affect the wise." (Dhammapada 81). Being steady doesn't mean ignoring feedback; it means hearing it calmly enough to see whether it is true.
No one escapes blame
"It's always been this way, Atula, it's not just today. They blame you when you're silent, they blame you when you speak a lot, and even when you speak just right: no one in the world escapes blame."
"There never was, nor will be, nor is there today, someone who is wholly praised or wholly blamed."
Dhammapada 227–228
This is oddly comforting. If even the Buddha was criticized, being criticized doesn't mean you've failed. It means you're a person in the world.
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Like a solid rock
"As the wind cannot stir a solid mass of rock, so too blame and praise do not affect the wise."
Dhammapada 81 · Praise and blame are two of the eight worldly conditions that turn the world.
Praise can shake us as much as blame: we start to need it. The rock isn't hard or cold; it's simply not pushed around by the wind.
Next time you're criticized: three steps
- Pause for three breaths before replying. Feel your feet on the ground, like the rock.
- Separate the sting from the content. "This hurts" is one thing. "Is it true, and is it useful?" is another question, and only the second needs an answer.
- Take what's true, leave the rest. If it's useful, thank them and change. If it isn't, you can let it pass like wind.
Try it
For a steadier mind, try the equanimity meditation, or meditate like the earth. For a quick reset, open Practice.
Questions people ask
What did the Buddha say about criticism?
That it is unavoidable: 'They blame you when you're silent, they blame you when you speak a lot, and even when you speak just right: no one in the world escapes blame' (Dhammapada 227). The wise stay steady 'as the wind cannot stir a solid mass of rock' (Dhammapada 81).
Should I ignore all criticism?
No. Steadiness lets you hear criticism without being knocked over, so you can check calmly whether it is true and useful, and learn from it if it is.