In short: dress modestly in black or white, arrive early, stay quiet, follow what the family does, and offer simple condolences. Expect chanting by monks or nuns and perhaps a talk on impermanence. Customs differ between traditions and cultures, so ask a family member or the temple if unsure.
What to wear and bring
- Plain, modest clothes; black or white depending on the family's tradition.
- Shoes you can remove easily if the service is in a temple. See temple etiquette.
- A donation envelope or flowers only if the family asks for them.
During the service
- Sit quietly; monks or nuns often chant. See Buddhist prayer for the dead.
- Bow or place palms together when others do.
- Do not photograph without permission.
What Buddhists reflect on
Funerals are a reminder of impermanence and a time for merit-sharing. See Buddhist teachings on death, mindfulness of death and teachings on grief.
If you are grieving yourself: fear of death in Buddhism
Questions people ask
What should I wear to a Buddhist funeral?
Modest, plain clothes. Black or white is usual, depending on the family's tradition. Cover shoulders and knees and avoid bright colours and heavy perfume.
What should I say to the family?
Simple words of sympathy are enough, such as 'I'm so sorry for your loss.' Avoid saying the person is in a better place unless you know the family's beliefs.
Should I bring a gift or donation?
Many families accept a donation or an envelope, and some request flowers or none. Check with the family or the temple first.